Fruit of a Certain Habit
by loftier
Summary: A soul that is afraid of dying would never learn to live...and this includes reincarnated ones too. SI!Rin, Self-insert Rin
1. JOURNAL ENTRY: 01

**JOURNAL ENTRY** #1

I'm an SI OC

"Before all this happened…"

Death, life and reincarnation were (probably still are) one of the popular topics chosen under fan fiction.

How typical, you say? You think this is another one of those self-insertion stories that you see on the internet; the one that plays magnificently with your worl- fiction, the one that the original character (better known as OC) strives hard to accomplish something, anything concerning with the plot, the one that the character is miraculously born into a relative of those important to the story, the one that falls under the adventure genre and sometimes even romance.

You're right.

And if you can even read the English alphabet much more understand it (because how the hell would you understand this journal without knowing these things first), help me.

Help me survive.

* * *

It all started with denial, a heavy one at that. But they didn't know that in time, it won't take long until they slowly fall in lo-

Oops, wrong story.

In her first week after "waking up", Carla truly believed that she was dreaming ('cus everything was _animated_ ) that's why she told herself to stay calm and just go with it. Things stayed that until her peace was ruined. Reality dawned on her when she almost choked to death when she drank her milk the wrong way. And when her coughing ceased, she screamed.

Yuko, her poor birth-mother, never knew it was coming.

The weeks after that… let's just say her birth-giver went to the doctor to get _herself_ checked. Lack of sleep, being fidgety and jumpy all the time, and treating her baby like a bomb waiting to explode are not the qualities of a healthy woman even if she was a first time mother, which she believed by heart.

Yet Carla didn't care, she just wanted this dre- _nightmare_ to end in any _possible_ way whether the plan would concern having midnight tantrums ( just making sure that noise could somehow crack this dream and wake herself up), starving herself to death (in hoping she would really wake up out of hunger and get food) and other possible ways that made her and her mother very tired

-and hungry.

And when she's not having some diabolical plan to carry out, she was still and quiet. Questioning herself and to whoever was listening, just plain out, gawdamn _why_. Particularly, _why her._ Of all the _normal-average people_ from Earth, fate picked the _already-struggling-in-life-poor_ girl. She reasoned to the sky that she was already having such a _hard_ time for basic needs. Doesn't the OCs in SIs live economically fine in their previous life?

Well, her denial defied her logic.

Sometime after the heavy denial (she even believed at one point her real body is in a coma) and lashing it all out towards her poor baby-former, there was a glimpse of bargaining and regret that happened. A lot of "If onlys…" ran inside her head until it eventually died down and got replaced by many "I'm an idiots" (which is very much true).

Then came in sulking –or depression, the more suitable term used. But from the looks of it (imagine an infant having _depression_ ), she was plainly brooding. Carla, if that was even her _name_ anymore _,_ didn't know how much time passed in that phase. She dreamt of her used-to-be life when she's asleep but upon waking up, reality would bitch-slap her _hard_ with the actual truth.

It was pretty sad really, when she's actually awake and living, it felt like it was all a vivid dream to her and when she's sleeping and technically in a coma, her dreams were her _reality_.

Figures passed and go from her view then nothing, she felt absolutely nothing and be completely numb throughout the day. So when darkness envelops her as she closes her eyes, she smiles.

She would be in her dreams again.

Time passed like that not until things came crashing down on her. Literally.

The usually quiet room was now filled with an infant's incoherent crying from pain from the small bump on her small head. Her mother picked her up and laid her down on her bed.

And it _began._

Carla wasn't sure at first the sound she was hearing but… it was very familiar. Then green; the first color she saw when she opened her eyes. While mesmerized by the flaring and flickering of that color, she also noticed that the pain from earlier was gone and shortly after, the color followed. All left from her view was Yuko's soft hands.

' _Never knew that chakra would be that warm,'_ she thought earnestly before falling asleep.

Now Carla didn't have an overnight character change nor does she is she bipolar. But that bump getting incident made her snap from her current useless state to just _think_ \- really think at her present and incoming future.

But she couldn't do it alone. She needed an external assurance. So she called Yuko by crying, again.

As the frantic new mother sways her baby gently in her arms as she normally does whenever she cried, Carla observed her, then she noticed the bags under her eyes, the slight furrow of her forehead, the seemingly tired yet caring gleam of her pupils and the vibrant color that the certain part of her cheek gives.

' _This woman in front of me is my mother, whether I like it or not.'_

The said woman lifted one hand to stroke Carla's cheek, softly tracing small circles along that particular area with her thumb.

' _This world existed and has power that I thought wasn't real.'_

Yuko then hummed a familiar tune and gave her daughter a soft smile.

' _Lastly, I di-'_

' _I'm dead,'_ the realization of her death hit Carla harder than expected.

The thought made her whimper, (a tall tell sign) indicating she was about to cry (again) but her mother, noticed before anything happen, didn't let that.

She spoke firmly yet gently with words that Carla can't understand (for now) but for some weird reason, it made her feel safe. And that's all the assurance she needed.

On that moment, Carla made her resolve.

' _I died and somehow been reincarnated,'_ she closed her eyes and exhaled.

' _I am both Rin Nohara and Carla,'_ she inhaled, taking in her mother's scent.

' _Finally, I will survive this world.'_ Carla exhaled and opened her eyes.

She saw her mother smile.

 _._

 _._

 _._

And from that day, she discovered a minor naming problem. She didn't know what she would name herself! But eventually, she settled for Rin (well that is her supposed name anyway), short for Carrin/CaRin (the fail combination).

* * *

"Hiro-kun!" Rin's mother, Yuko, shouted in horror at the door. She hurriedly stepped in front of Hiro-kun (that looked like a male Touka in Rin's opinion) then scooped Rin away from his womanly arms.

Yuko then guessed that a thirteen year old clueless pubescent boy was a bad idea for a baby sitter.

She gasped first then wiped the vomit vigorously off her small baby's face using her shirt while calmly admonishing the bishie.

' _This is what I get for trusting you to change my diaper?! Leaving me with someone who doesn't know how to take care a baby?!'_ Rin internally shouted and at the same time glared at her Kaa-san.

Months passed since her _kinda-depression_ state and she and her mother were pretty close now (in terms of Rin's view). The small brunette had finally showed signs of being a normal baby like exploring her body which was such a relief for her mother since she thought something was wrong.

Now to the cause of the current situation however…

At first, Rin panicked when a stranger was holding her. But then she felt nauseous, seconds after she let out her _stranger danger_ alarm (aka crying), because the babysitter was frantically rocking her completely _opposite_ to the normal flow of baby swaying just to calm her down.

What happened next was inevitable. Her milk was wasted.

And now the said babysitter bishie was spouting out a bunch of sorrys. Rin's Kaa-san just sighed before replying to him. The only words Rin understood from her were "Ok, ok."

When Yuko was done cleaning her baby up, she changed the position in carrying Rin by putting both of her hands under Rin's small armpits, confusing the baby girl at the same time. She then handed Rin to Hiro.

' _Oh no. What the hell is she planning?'_ Rin panicked in her mind.

Hiro was fussing about something before hesitantly getting Rin from her Kaa-san. He was still babbling while holding her but then Yuko spoke up.

It made him silent for a moment.

Hesitantly, he began rocking Rin gently unlike what he did before. Rin noticed that it was almost the same manner as her mother's signature cradling. The teenager looked down at the baby brunette, and with a weary and unsure face he mumbled, "Hi, I'm Hiro-niisan" in his girly pitch.

Rin giggled then cooed "Hi, oniisan," that came out as "Uwaah!". This was the first time she did those two adorable actions.

Her mother gasped in surprise.

Rin giggled once more.

* * *

' _Learning Japanese wasn't supposed to be_ this _hard,'_ Rin screamed internally as she tries to read a single word out of a picture book.

' _Especially if you have two native speakers in front and willing to teach you,'_ Rin eyed Hiro and her Kaa-san for help while pointing accusingly at the book then Hiro noticed and enthusiastically sat next to her and carried her to his lap carrying the book.

' _I'm such a loved brat,'_ she smirked as Hiro's finger pointed at the character.

Both Hiro and Yuko knew that Rin developed fast. Speaking simple words before the age of one, using eye-contact as means of communication and apparently trying to perfectly control her own body by practicing all day (with occasional trips) were all the clues they needed to conclude that Rin was a very smart (or exploring) baby.

If only they also knew that the Rin they loved and know was actually a grown eighteen year old _fangirl_ teenager.

.

.

.

A progressive year had passed, and today was now her second birthday.

' _With this crayon, the "Ultimate Plan for Rin's Survival" that I've been thinking of for the past year would be written at last.'_ Rin was holding her green crayon tightly and looked at it with such admiration that made her mother giggle. "You like it that much, Rin-chan?"

"I guess it's my fault since I tried not to give you any pointed objects," she sighed, but proud of herself for being a good mom.

And from that, Rin's oral and written vocabulary would increase much more. But from her guardians' point of view, they would be confused on where their little avid baby learner went. Mostly they might see from Rin's notebook now would be scribbles not _actual_ Japanese letters.

And it's all because Rin would make sure to write her master plan in English.

"Happy Birthday, Rin-chan!" Hiro chirped as he handed her a new rag doll. Rin's eyes shone with delight and reached it with her other hand.

"Thank chuu~!" she squeaked happily.

And yes, a baby-teenager would be happy to get a doll.

"Rin-chan, what are you staring at?" Hiro's voice cut into the girl's thoughts and she realized that she was gawking again.

"Nothing!" she smiled sheepishly then thought of asking him that certain question.

"Hiro-niisan, when would we go out?" Rin used her puppy-eye two year old power on him so he would answer.

"Oh uh, hmmm…" the teenager contemplated before opening his mouth.

"After you read this book, Rin." Yuko suddenly announced as she came in through the door wearing a wide smile and flashing a thin book in her daughter's direction. Tilting her head in confusion, the small girl replied, "I don't read books." _'Only picture books'_

"Well then, this will be your first time," her mother gave a knowing grin as she handed her the book. Scanning it cautiously, Rin read it out loud. "The Tale of-" Rin paused, scrunching her eyebrows. She showed them the book, pointing at the next character.

"What does this read?"

"The Tale of the Utterly Gusty Ninja: Kids Edition," Yuko finished. The moment she was done, Rin's eyes went wide and she paled.

"You like the title, Rin?" Hiro asked, his voice sounding small and distant from what Rin ear's.

' _No, not at all.'_

"Yes, niisan," Rin mumbled as she shakily stood up, bringing the book with her. Striding across the room, Rin received curious looks from both of them. "Bathroom," she said, taking the liberty to answer them. Closing the door from where they were, the little brunette heard her Kaa-san speak up.

"Don't let it fall inside the toilet like last time!" Yuko warned teasingly. Walking down the hallway, Hiro's fading voice had echoed through the walls.

"Where would she poop, then?"

Rin let out a small snicker and silently thanked her niisan for easing up her mood.

Lights were flickered on then blinked a few times first at the small yet comfortable sized bathroom. There was an eerie silence inside the cubicle. As the doors clicked shut and locked, resounding in the small room, Rin couldn't help but think.

' _A bathroom is my all-time lair. That's_ so _me.'_

For a second, Rin examined the book she was holding, before crouching down to the cabinet beside the toilet. This is where she kept her (now new) notebook that was written with English letters. It consisted of footnotes and abbreviations of her draft for the plan.

Sitting down on the bathroom floor (closing the toilet sit this time), she laid the book beside her notebook and started writing. Rin translated the title into English and wrote down her age that served as a date.

' _From what I recall, this book didn't have a kid's edition. But who knows? Not everything was stated in the wiki. Or this must mean that the butterfly effect was taking place.'_ Rin closed her eyes real hard to get her previous memories from her original world.

' _Whichever the reason, the original version of this was written by Jiraiya. But the problem is I don't remember_ when _specifically. Just before Naruto was born, this book inspired Minato and Nagato in ways that I forgot (yes, how stupid of me). So that means that the book was made either during or before Jiraiya's meeting with the Ame Orphans but I'll go with during.'_ She then wrote down "Jiraiya…title of the book… inspiration to Nagato and Minato" all in English.

' _Since this is a new edition, my timeline now might be after the Ame Orphan's appearance in canon, supposing the original version was made before the Ame's.'_ She bit her lip and concentrated on remembering what important events during that timeline. ' _There was a war? I think? With Hanzo-something?'_ She scribbled furiously as memories played before her as hard as she could remember.

Dates play a crucial role for her ultimate plan for survival. Without it, she wouldn't know when it was safe to go outside Konoha.

After all, Rin decided to be a civilian and move to another (and more peaceful) village.

* * *

Ever since his first day on the job, Hiro did nothing to show to the Noharas' that he was not such a total lousy babysitter. And forgetting to feed Rin one time was enough proof of that failure. Though he wasn't the best babysitter out there, the Noharas' already considered him as family.

That is why the growing teenager couldn't be more grateful when Yuko let him and Rin go out for a walk.

"You have a cute sister!"

Unknown civilian #143 complimented. The pair received that flattering sentence for a thousand times now to which they politely say their thanks and move on. But little Rin still get flustered even if she heard it for many times. Hiro thought it was cute.

Maneuvering through the market place without bumping into people was hard, especially when you're bringing a small three year old girl with you.

Hiro got the idea that Rin didn't like walking here when she held his hand tighter. He acknowledged it by squeezing back. But Rin was persistent because then she tugged on his pants. And so he looked down at her.

"Carry me."

Hiro smiled apologetically, "Your mother told me to let you walk since you insisted on going out, Rin."

Rin groaned, "Just for a minute, please!"

"Sorry, but your mother's order is final," he turned around then muttered under his breath, "Besides, she would kill me if she ever finds out."

With no other choice, Rin was pulled along the small crowd in the street.

After minutes of looking through stalls, admiring vegetables for the dorky gardener that he is, Hiro figured that he also wanted Rin to have some fun. He reckoned that getting food would be better than getting dragged.

They stopped, finally, at a restaurant nearby. He kneeled down at Rin's level, showing a playful glint in his eye. "You hungry?"

Grinning widely, Rin nodded her head vigorously. He chuckled at her enthusiasm at the mention of food. Rin wasn't bothered by it because they both know that she loved food very much.

"Let's go get dango!" he proclaimed in glee.

And in the shop they went.

After sitting down, getting the delicious piece of dango and eating it with such fondness, Rin initiated a small talk… that caught Hiro off guard.

"Niisan, your other job is gardening, right?"

Hiro's eyes widened a fracture at the sudden question but still nodded in agreement.

"I want to plant too!" Rin announced as she slammed both of her hands down on the table.

Suddenly, with a loud thud, Hiro's chin fell down the table when his arm that propped his chin slumped unexpectedly. He straightened his back slowly, looking at Rin like she was crazy, while stammering, "W-what?!"

"I want to be gardener like you, niisan! Maybe even a farmer!" the little girl in front declared with confidence as she pointed a finger at him.

"Why?" he asked, still stunned at this suddenness, while rubbing his slightly bruised chin.

' _Oh, I don't know, maybe because I'm avoiding my demise'_

Diminishing those thoughts away, Rin reasoned, "You seemed happy when you talk about work. You always say that you have fun." Hiro's face slightly relaxed and his gaze softened.

"I want to be happy like that," she finished.

' _Nah, not really. But planting is something I want to learn too so it's a win-win.'_

The teenager sighed, "Well, I shouldn't be surprised because of the apparent drawings you made but I am still pretty shocked."

When babysitting, Hiro saw Rin drew herself planting vegetables together with him all the time. She couldn't be any more obvious with her message. But that doesn't mean he can't doubt.

He wanted to help Rin to be a great and promising individual in the future and he admits to himself that she following his steps won't get her closer to that, so he said though secretly hurt, "Your mother is a medic in the hospital and I thought you would dream of being one-"

' _Nope, not happening,'_ Rin instantly denied _._

"-and I am just a babysitter who loves gardening that isn't really cool at all."

Giving him assurance in her three year old voice she replied, "But planting IS cool!"

Rin could tell that her niisan had confidence issues. Well, it's more like he admitted it to her when she was still younger and of course Hiro wouldn't know that the one he was talking to already have a rational mind and could understand minor Japanese language.

He chuckled, agreeing with his small friend, "Yeah, I guess it's a little bit cool." He shifted his gaze to the window next to them, looking at the vegetable stall across the street. He continued to smile.

Rin noticed then looked at the same direction. Upon finding what he was looking at, she grinned, _'He's such a dork.'_

They ended the discussion there and then left for home. Hiro paused in front of the Nohara's door, looking completely mortified, and said "Go inside, Rin. I think I left my wallet at the store." Giving one last look at him as he scurried past the street, Rin giggled as she opened the door and went inside.

As Hiro ran through the street, dodging people and hoping that his wallet was still at the restaurant, he concluded that he _was_ a wimpy _and_ a lousy teenager.

' _But when a three year old kid looks up to you and loves you like her own brother… how bad can possibly I be?'_ a faint smile crept up his lips.

Back at the Noharas' house, Yuko's voice echoed.

"Hiro? Is that you? Where's Rin?" she shouted from a room as she heard the doors shuttered close. She was busy preparing her paperwork for tomorrow. And she can't wait to tell her daughter their trip.

"It's me, Rin. Niisan left his wallet at the market," Rin replied while taking off her slippers.

"What?! Again?!" Yuko revealed herself to her daughter, both hands on her hips. Rin shrugged in response.

Walking towards her mother, Rin then hugged and snuggled her head between her Kaa-san's legs. Yuko smiled while looking down and ruffled her daughter's hair, softly speaking, "Welcome home, Rin."

Smiling, Rin mumbled, "Tadaima."

After a comfortable silence, her mother pushed Rin back gently, and then saying, "Tomorrow, we would be going somewhere." She kneeled down and smiled excitedly, "You'll go with me to the hospital!"

Rin's breath hitched and her whole body was frozen in place. Her heart even skipped a beat. Managing not to frown, she cleared her throat instead, "But Kaa-san, I want to plant with Hiro-niisan."

Yuko dismissed what her daughter said, shaking her head disapprovingly, "Rin, do you know what this is?" she pointed at the purple marking on her cheek.

' _A rare case of skin infection,'_ Rin thought idly.

"No…" her voice trailed off. _'I never planned on asking her anyway'_

"This means that we have good chakra control like our family who had so," Yuko explained with pride in her voice. The history that had been passed to her by her grandfather to her mother, and mother to her flashed before her eyes. Now she hoped this would reach her daughter as well…somehow, on how important this is to her and their village.

"But Kaa-," but Rin was oblivious, she didn't even notice how her mother's eyes shine.

Yuko interjected, "And also, do you know what chakra is?" she then remembered that her daughter _was only_ three and wouldn't really get the word 'responsibility' and 'sacrifice'.

' _The proof that I am in the Naruto world,'_ Rin replied dryly.

The girl shook her head and answered, "No, but I really want to learn about gardening tomorrow with Hiro-niisan."

"And tomorrow you would see how medics work on chakra," Yuko claimed, completely ignoring what Rin just said. _'She's still a kid after all. She wouldn't really know what she wants.'_

"But-"

"Tomorrow, you'll see how amazing chakra is and how we use it to help people" she interrupted and with that, her word was final. Yuko stood up then head back to the room she came from to continue her paperwork and to forget how her daughter seemed appalled by the idea of medic-nins. _'Yes, she's still a kid. And this is still a new subject to her. It'll get by to her.'_

' _Hopefully...'_ A voice of doubt whispered at the back of Yuko' mind.

When her mother was out of sight, Rin sighed wearily.

' _Persuasion is very hard.'_

 **~CARRIN'S ULTIMATE SURVIVAL PLAN~**

 **PLAN A** : BE A CIVILIAN AND GET OUT OF KONOHA

 _Convince adults supervising that being a civilian is good.  
Status: Pending_

* * *

 **A/N:  
** I had this story stored in my computer for months because I decided to post it once it's finished. Well, promises are meant to be broken and inspiration is hard to find. I hope your reactions (if someone would even) would help me continue. Be it as it may aka I'll accept anything.

I'll upload the next one once I at least have one review. What? it's just _one_ review I'm not asking for the whole fanfic paparazzi to come check my story out.

Also, I'm on a roll today, bam! Two stories one day!

This story is inspired by NightlyRayne's story "The Changeover".

PS...after a thousand edits for the lines and uploads again and again, frck I made the wrong choice of posting this so quickly


	2. JOURNAL ENTRY: 17, 06, 23

**JOURNAL ENTRY** #17

School

 _"I remember…_

Not everything you knew in college would be there in the real world. I learned that from our medical visits to the hospital. Every patient has a different story. And my (supposed to be future) job was to listen and help them with their story. And that's what I did. Kinda, idk. I was still a student…"

* * *

Rin actually doesn't have a problem with hospitals but with the given circumstances now, she's _very_ nervous for the possibility of meeting a major character that would happen to be here (which she is _desperately_ trying to avoid). Her plans to be a farmer and get out of this accursed place would _definitely_ go downhill from that point if these _trips_ continue. Plan A would be no more and she really doesn't want to resort Plan B.

Rin was panicking. She was so jumpy when talking and just be jittery in all her movements. It was evident in plain sight. Yuko already chided her for a hundredth time to calm down.

But when her mother introduced her to a man with a bad case of wounds and broken arms, she acted so… almost looked like she _understood_ the whole scenario which shocked (but did not show it) Yuko considering this was the girl who was just _begging_ to go back home a while ago.

Her daughter was eagerly listening to her while she stated the situation and their protocols. Yuko was hesitant on laying this information to her child yet still continued. She told Rin to stay with the man for a while until she got what she needed.

Her daughter had no idea that all of this was actually Yuko's big test for her; to prove whether or not Rin claimed to _dislike_ the idea of medics is true.

"So mister, what do you do?"

Rin was sitting on a stool beside the patient's bed because her mother left her there to fetch some medicines.

Fukawa stared at the little girl beside him like she was crazy before going with it then answering, "Well, nothing really." Sighing, he then continued, "I've spend most of the time here rather than actually doing my job, which is being a shinobi," then he looked up at the ceiling, his gaze was distant from reality "I guess that's why I'm useless. All I do is get injured and cause my team problems."

She furrowed her eyebrows because she couldn't accept his answer so she asked again, in a demanding yet polite tone "But, what do you _do_?"

Fukawa looked at her in puzzlement "I just told you. I do nothing but pain in the..." he paused because he realized that he was talking to a little girl. She grinned mischievously in return. Fukawa noticed her playful smile and chuckled lightly "You shouldn't know that word. Your mom would kill me before I can recover."

"What word?" she asked, feigning innocence. Bringing back the main subject, she asked again "So, what do you do?"

He opened his mouth to reply but got interrupted.

"You're a shinobi, right? What else? Do you like gardening?" Rin mentally face-palmed at the last thing she mentioned.

He pondered over her question for a second before replying, "Well, I do like reading books, particularly made up shinobi tactics and trying to act them out when training," his eyes lighted up in delight, and in the sudden change of mood, he scowled, "But I never used them in battle because they're just fiction anyway."

Rin could sense from the tone of his voice that it wasn't the only reason but respected his secrecy and decided not to pry.

"You like being a shinobi, mister?"

His eyes softened and gave her a soft smile, "Yes, very much."

For the minutes that passed, his mood finally improved from staying as an in-patient because he finally spoke to someone else and shared his problem…even if it's with a three year old kid. Or maybe that's why it's easier letting it out. A child would have no prejudice and just be plain honest and curious. So the shinobi told her about his trainings, his team and their missions, and his failed yet funny strategies that he applied during those times for the few minutes they were together.

Her Kaa-san came back and left again for several times. But both parties did not notice her presence because they were too occupied by each other's company. The low noises that filled the small curtained room are the stories of klutz shinobi and a little girl's giggles in response. And when her Kaa-san told her that it was time to go, Rin smiled wholeheartedly at him and spoke "Now, you know what you do."

She stood up, said her goodbyes and stepped out of the curtain. This whole time, Fukawa merely gaped at the leaving girl and did not find the words to say.

' _You do what you love.'_ The message was clear on both parties.

Yuko hid a smile as she placed her hand on Rin's back, ushering her to leave the room. _'My baby passed the test.'_

* * *

 **JOURNAL ENTRY** #6

Sickness

 _"Before all this happened…_

Getting sick a lot was my forte. Classmate sneezed once? I have flu the next day. And that happens frequently since I was a baby… and I _loved_ it. Mama would take care of me all the time and I would just laze off (even if I can manage) and let her do everything. I seriously adored being pampered with love and concern…"

* * *

Hidden under their humble green homes, the crickets softly played their music. And up above, the stars shimmered in delight, shining down upon the calm village together with their mother, the moon. From afar, the howls of dogs could be heard joining in the unique symphony of evening for just a moment, only to be replaced loudly by the whispers of the wind running through the swaying trees. The leaves, seemingly without care, danced gracefully beneath the starlight following the hymn of the night.

In short, it was a beautiful, peaceful evening.

Yuko thought as she looks in a distance, admiring all the view she could get from her two-story house which is not a lot at all. She could only see silhouettes of trees and faintly dimmed roofs of her neighbors and also the twinkle of the stars and brightness of the moon.

The wind blew harder now, leaving her hair flowing messily with it. She frowned as she was fixing and holding it in place then reached the handle and gently closed the window. She looked again outside and the more the trees shook with their braches, she knew that she made the right choice.

Her baby would get colder, after all.

She sighed; it was such a waste because nothing could beat the lullaby of nature during night to sing for her daughter as she sleeps cozily in her bed. But she doesn't want her baby to get sicker.

She turned her back, facing her small one then carefully sat next to her. She leaned in, inspecting her feeble face before bringing up a hand to her forehead. Her temperature was lower compared before. The moment she withdrew her hand, a weak voice croaked.

"Kaa…san…"

"Yes, Rin-chan?" Yuko immediately replied in a gentle, concerned tone. Her full attention was on Rin now, waiting if she ever needed anything. She watched as her daughters' closed lids stir before slowly peeking open. Her mouth then formed a small opening.

"Up…" Rin groaned.

It took a second for Yuko before helping her up and placing her in a sitting position. Rin's head was bent over and Yuko couldn't see her expressions, whether was she in pain or not.

But in reality, Rin was just hiding the fact the she was chewing her lips to stop grinning because she managed to trick her mom. She was feeling fine already but it was more fun pretending sick.

Slowly, Rin lifted her head after changing her expression to look in discomfort. Squinting her eyes (even if it was already dark), she croaked, "W-water…please." Yuko quickly complied and got the pitcher of water from the makeshift table she arranged beside her a while ago.

Rin watched as her mother poured water into the glass. The girl then wondered how long she was asleep and what time it was. When finished, Yuko sat close to her, bringing the water near her face. When the rim touched Rin's lip, Yuko lifted the glass slowly to let her drink properly. After a few gulps, Yuko withdrew the water and asked her daughter, "Do you feel fine now, sweetie?" And Rin gave her mother a small nod.

Yuko noticed droplets of water on the corner of Rin's mouth and quickly grabbed the clean towel on the table. _'How long was Kaa-san awake?_ ' Rin thought as her mother shifted in place. Rin closed her eyes when the towel touched her face, feeling the soft gentle wipes of the cloth to her mouth and cheek.

When Yuko was finished, she gently layed down her daughter back to bed, insisting her to go back to sleep. Once cozily tucked in and eyes closed, she leaned down giving a small peck on Rin's forehead before standing up and leaving the room, bringing the towel and pitcher with her.

Rin smiled, feeling all warm and bubbly inside. And it wasn't because she was sick.

* * *

 **JOURNAL ENTRY** #23

Emergency situations

 _"I remember…_

...but when I'm alone and my body is reacting in the flight response, I run. No questions asked. I just straight up dash the hell out of there and wouldn't care less of anything happening next. I mean, why would I deny my body's biological reaction?"

* * *

' _Fuck'_ was the first curse word Rin thought for the day.

During the time of the visits to the hospital, Rin was convinced that nothing would go wrong and everything will still fall into the plan. Even if she used all her vocabulary powers on persuading her mother to let her plant, and fail every time, she told herself to think positive and just go with it (for now) because her mother had yet to forbid her on mentioning the word 'plant' again. Though she admittedly enjoyed her time there but as of now…

"Ah, Nohara-san. This must be your daughter."

There, towering before her was Kakashi's father.

Time momentarily stopped as panic ran course through Rin's veins. Looking at the man in front in a complete state of shock, she then knew she was screwed.

"Ah, Hatake-san. I see you're doing quite well." Yuko placed her hand on Rin's back. "This is my daughter, Rin."

Rin clutched her mother's dress tighter and buried her face on Yuko's side in an attempt to avoid from the gaze pinned on her. The chibi brunnete would have contentedly hidden behind Yuko's back if it weren't for the hand that kept pushing her out of her safe haven and ushering her to introduce herself. Every effort of covering her body was about to go down as the mini war between Rin and the evil hand persisted. And it was then that Kakashi's father took the hint.

"Well, she seems a bit shy," he chuckled.

Which wasn't the case at all.

Rin was on full panic mode and tried to control her urge of trembling and it failed because her knees were already shaking. Shaking is bad. Shaking, for Rin, is her symptom of a nervous breakdown and now is not the time for that. She bit her lip hard, hoping pain would help her think…think…just think clearly for _one_ second. And in that situation, in that moment, her defense mechanism was telling her one thing.

To run away.

Struggling messily to get away from her mother as she tried to get a hold of her, Rin responded without thought, "POOPING!"

"What?! You just di-" Yuko retracted her hand as if Rin was on fire. And it was too late to realize her mistake because-

 _"RIN!"_

The small girl used that chance to escape.

Rin dashed through the halls, turning at every corner, and dodging any person she might bump. She didn't care where she was going as long as she's away from that person. And when her legs finally gave up on her as she turned around the nearest corner, she slowed down and stopped. She leaned her back against the wall then gently sat down with her legs spread out.

Her heart pounded in her ribcage as she breathed erratically to catch her trickled down her forehead to her face and her back was slightly soaked as well. She captioned adults' concerned attention and they tried to approached her but Rin gestured she was okay.

In that state, she was instantly reminded of something. _'Damn. Running is literally hard in any dimension.'_

The tired girl noticed a figure standing beside her out of the corner of her eyes but she ignored it, figuring that it was just a dude who decided to chill there. She closed her eyes to further relax her exhausted small body. Just after a few slow, calming breaths, a voice spoke up.

"Rin-chan, I've caught up to you. Your mom asked me to fetch you. And you're in trouble also, if you don't come back now."

Her eyes shot open as she jerked her head turning to the speaker. Rin stared at him in pure mortification as he continued to speak.

"Not bad for an injured fellow, I guess." Sakumo chuckled.

Rin lurched to her feet, stupidly forgetting that her legs were all but useless with fatigue then promptly fell on the hard floor with a loud thud.

"UGH!" She groaned as her chin and torso throbbed painfully as it touched the ground when her palms failed to support her weight. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes and she sniffled, _'Maybe if I just stay here, he'll leave.'_ Tired and scared, the girl closed her eyes and let her body sink onto the cold hard floor of the hallway.

Sakumo panicked when the little girl stopped moving. But as a ninja, first he would check if they're breathing. He eyed Rin carefully, noticing the rise and fall of her concluded that the girl must have passed out as he bent down on one knee, reaching for her wrist for pulse. And the moment he clutched her tiny hand, Rin's breath hitched.

' _Why the heck is he touching me?!'_ Rin internally screamed together with a bunch of curses. It took all her effort not to cringe. She closed her eyes real hard and pleaded, _'Please go away. Go away, go away, go away, go awa-'_

All thoughts vanished when all of a sudden she was being picked up and carried.

"Rin! Answer me! Are you alright?!" Yuko cried as she held her daughter closer, caressing her head.

"I'm fine, Kaa-san."

Rin's arms found their way around her mother's neck. Her head snuggled cozily between the crook of her mother's neck and shoulder. Rin smiled, remembering the last time her mother carried her like this. She knew that her mother only carries her when she either had fallen asleep or had been really tired.

"I'll be going now, Nohara-san."

And Sakumo's deep voice broke into her thoughts, again.

Given his statement a while ago, Rin thought of an idea then proceeded to she slowly hug her mother harder as she burrowed her head more onto her neck to totally hide her face. This would hopefully give him the message that Rin is a _really_ shy girl and does not like strangers _at all._

"Thank you Hatake-san for your help." Yuko bowed her head gratefully.

"No problem. See you next time, Nohara-san," Sakumo curtly nodded before shifting his attention to Rin who was still hiding from him, "You too, Rin-chan." And as the white headed ninja turns around to be on his way, he distinctly noticed how Rin's fist clenched tighter.

He wondered if he was bad at approaching children but dismissed it as he remembered a certain boy who truly adores him.

For a second, Yuko watched Hatake-san walk away before turning her head to the girl she was carrying. Her initial thought was to scold Rin for running away and giving her a heart attack from worrying so damn much. But then she was confused at why Rin acted in that peculiar way. As far as she knows, her daughter never had a hard time talking to patients whether they were shinobi or civilian. She also noted that Rin was still hugging her with all her might as if she would fall off.

"Rin, is everything alright?" Yuko asked in a soft voice, hoping for Rin to realize she wasn't angry –if that's what she's afraid of.

Thousands of answers scattered in Rin's mind of why everything is _definitely not_ alright but instead of voicing them, she merely shook her head. And a scary thought entered her head that would destroy her plan indefinitely.

' _I should tell Kaa-san everything.'_

She wasn't usually _this_ afraid but she couldn't help it. The moment she saw The White Fang, she suddenly saw her future; of how she was going to die and the one she knew she could never deal with; of how she would let _other_ people die when she continues on with her plan.

And then it dawned on her. Her sole mission of surviving would clash on this world's fated future. And that thought terrified Rin the most for if she _ever_ became successful in her mission then the future of this world would be uncertain... and she could never expect the unexpected.

Rin never noticed how long she was silent. Her mother's voice brought her back into focus.

"Let's just go home, ok? We'll talk about it later."

Rin gave a small nod.

The trip home was quiet. Yuko stayed true to her word and did not mention anything. She went on with her daily routine; submitting her papers, packing her items and taking Rin home. The only thing different is no one was talking. There were no idle chitchats, no heated discussion (preferably about planting) and no pleasantries (daily dose of I love you, take care, and proud of you).

Yuko's heart sank. Her ears weren't used to silence. And so when they were finally home, she exploded.

She sank down on Rin's level, "Rin what is it? Are you sick again? Does it hurt here?" Yuko was restless. Her hands flew in all directions; Rin's neck, cheek and forehead.

Then she bombarded her daughter another load of questions. "What's wrong? Do you feel fine? Rin, please answer me!" But Rin hadn't responded so her eyes frantically searched answers from her daughter's face.

Then she noticed.

Her daughter's eyes were so very distant. It was like she was living in another world, like she was under a spell. ' _A spell?'_ Yuko frowned. She grabbed hold of her shoulders and stared deeply into Rin's pupils. And an idea horridly struck her, _'Genjustu, perhaps!'_

"Kaa-san, o-ouch."

Yuko was baffled and was at a loss of words when she watched Rin's pupils snap out of the deep trance.

The awkward silence made Rin uncomfortable. The small girl eyed her in return, suddenly confused. "Kaa-san?"

The grip on Rin's shoulder relaxes. At first, the mother's mind raced of possible scenarios how Rin managed to be under genjutsu and then a blissful relief when saw her face back to normal. Yuko sighed for being a paranoid mother.

"Sorry, Rin. Are you hurt?" Yuko removed her hands from her young child's shoulders. The girl shook her head. "It was just tight, Kaa-san."

Only then did Yuko realize that they were still at the door and she was kneeling this whole time. She stood up, clutching her child's small hand. Rin followed her silently; heart frantic and mind racing to think of an excuse, any excuse.

Yuko, on the other hand, noticed the wood of their house creaking louder beneath her heavy footsteps and the quiet padding under Rin's. This is when the medic's mind drifted about her growing daughter; she thought of how small she is, how vulnerable she is against the world and how much she could do to protect her from it until her baby's matured enough to face it.

The moment Yuko sat on her chair in the room; she was the first one to talk to immediately address the problem. "Rin, what exactly happened?

Rin took a deep breath. "The truth is," she paused then looked at her mother directly, "I'm shy."

Yuko raised her brow.

"Ok no… not really." Rin refuted, knowing well that her mother wouldn't really believe it.

"But," she averted her eyes then swallowed. After a second, the girl brought her eyes again to meet her mother's soft brown ones and then she relented.

"I don't like him Kaa-san."

Rin went on timidly, "I just… I'm scared of him, Kaa-san. He's scary." This was partially the truth because who wouldn't be scared of the father of your future demise?

Yuko sighed on her sit. "He's not that scary, Rin."

Confused, the mother doubted Rin knew what title Hatake holds but since he usually gives off that intimidating atmosphere that even if you knew him well, you'll know he's powerful and never to be messed with. But still, Hatake-san was also known as one of the kindest shinobi ever so she never would have thought Rin would pick up that aura in her first time meeting him.

Yuko pondered on whether she should convince Rin to at least try to talk to the man or just let the subject go for now. She observed her daughter sitting across of her. Any parent could tell that her Rin was nervous. So Yuko chose the second option. Besides, Hatake-san was just some man and Rin was her beloved daughter.

And Yuko knew by heart that she would spoil her to death.

"Alright…" She spoke after a few moments of silence.

Rin tilted her head. "Alright what?"

"Well," Yuko started then stared intently at Rin. This would be the teaching-her-daughter-a-new-lesson look. "It's not wrong to be cautious or scared of someone you don't know but it's also not right without trying to fully know them."

"But don't worry," Yuko gave a promising smile. "You don't need to actually know Hatake-san."

After hearing those words, Rin's face light up with hope and smiled brightly. "Really?"

Yuko, infected with the girl's smile, laughed. "Yes, really."

Rin ran up to her mother and Yuko welcomed her into her arms, hugging her daughter dearly. Yuko then remembered the _other_ reason they went home early.

"I have a gift for you," Yuko mumbled into her daughter's hair.

Rin pulled back, wondering how this moment could get any better. Her mother pointed something behind her. The girl turned around and immediately noticed a wrapped gift that wasn't on the table this morning. She trotted hurriedly, got the gift then sat again in front of her mother.

After ripping the wrapper messily, she recognized the item.

"A notebook?"

"No, not a notebook. A journal."

Once again, Rin grinned from ear to ear. Her small face depicted pure joy as she looked at her mother's warm, amused eyes before shifting her gaze back to the journal.

"Thank you very much, Kaa-san." She looked up, smiling appreciatively.

"I love you." She said before glomping her mother again.

"Oof!"

Yuko swore that this girl would be the death of her.

* * *

 **~CARRIN'S ULTIMATE SURVIVAL PLAN~**

 **PLAN A** : BE A CIVILIAN AND GET OUT OF KONOHA

 _Convince adults supervising that being a civilian is good.  
Status: Pending_

 _Try not to interact with main characters.  
Status: Pending with high chance of positive results_

* * *

 **A/N:** I kept my promise and uploaded this since senpai reviewed though I still feel guilty for being such a review digger. Foreshadowing, anyone? Hahaha just kidding, I mean it's only the second chapter! I won't go AoT or GoT on anyone... would I?

Also, please don't be confused. Rin started the journal as soon as she received it but she formulated her plan way before when she received her first notebook. I'm correlating what she wrote in her journal to what is happening in her daily life hence the journal entry before the actual story.

To readers, I'm curious about your thoughts! Feel free to judge.

Again, this story was inspired by NightlyRayne's "The Changeover". Hers has romance so that would already make it more intriguing.

Would I put that genre in mine? Who knows?


	3. JOURNAL ENTRY: 23

**Disclaimer:** I forgot to put this in the previous chapters but you know this, Naruto ain't mine. If it was, hmmm… I'm not sure, it's kinda done already.

* * *

 **JOURNAL ENTRY** #23

Emergency situations

 _"I remember…"_

…then Mama scolded me after the fire at school. "You're impulsive when you're scared and it's fucking annoying. You ask a _lot_ of questions, overthink, and like PMs in the worst possible way." She was right anyway so I just shut my mouth up. I guess I should have tried to open the fire extinguisher again before giving up and throwing the whole thing at the fire…

* * *

Yuko repeated it to her head that it was normal. Hiro didn't notice anything different so it further proved Yuko's point that it was absolutely normal. Or maybe Hiro just doesn't have the observational skills she had. But surely asking a lot of questions was completely normal for Rin's age.

But there was something about them that are odd. Rin's line of questions became more mature from the point after she met Sakumo, as Yuko mentally noted.

Because sometimes, there were instances that Yuko particularly notices. Aside from Rin's normal questions like 'what's who's and how's', there were completely different other sets of questions Yuko observed. Because as far as she knew, her daughters' what's who's and how's (the first category of Rin's questions) were _always_ followed by Rin attempting to pronounce whatever answer she was given.

"Sen-sai-na? Zen-zhai-na?Sen-say-na?"

"The first one Rin, sen-sai-na. It means delicate, just like you dear."

After uttering the pronunciations for the nth time, Rin would ask again another set of 'what's, who's and how's'.

Then there are moments that Rin would ask a contemplative question (mentally categorized as the 2nd type). Yuko named them so because of the after expression she makes which is well, contemplative.

"Do I have a dad?"

It caught her so off guard that she dropped her mug (full of hot tea) and made her curse (for the first time) in front of her daughter. After fixing the hot mess, she made her sit to have a serious mood for discussion. She properly explained that her dad went to a better place (died horribly) during a mission.

"Oh, ok."

It again shocked the frantic mother because she expected that she would be bombarded with loads of questions after that (probably about what place, how he died, and how they met). Then that is when she notices. Rin was silent and gave a far off look as if she was thinking of something. Something that, as Yuko guessed, might be the possibilities if Rin still has her father.

So she asked.

"Yeah."

Then Rin would stare off a distance for the whole afternoon.

Yuko didn't ask again.

The third type is the one she called scary life choices questions. Scary because of the way Rin's face gives her away, Yuko might have taught Rin was facing a rabid dog, not her mother (but what's the difference).

"What's a sacrifice?"

At first she thought it was the usual what's question so she answered briefly.

"It's when you give up something for the better good."

Then it was immediately followed by another question.

"What's responsibility?"

Yuko answered again.

To be immediately followed by another one.

"Would I do those someday?"

Now, there was something in Rin's tone that was off so Yuko paused what she was doing and faced her daughter properly.

There, as evident as the elephant in the room, Rin was scared.

Her dear daughter, so vulnerable, so unsure.

"I-"

But Yuko remembered. There are just things that one should automatically accept when growing up in a ninja village.

Things that were always done during missions, medical protocols, and emergencies. No matter how much she wanted to comfort her daughter right now, she was asked a question therefore she would answer. The answers to these questions are the things that she should be teaching Rin as early as now to make her daughter ready for the future.

"Yes, sweetie. Someday you will."

Yuko never felt something odd about Rin's questions after that.

Just... a feeling that there should be something more to be said.

* * *

It is Rin's fourth birthday next month and Rin still hasn't done shit. There are still trips to the hospital and though she has to admit to enjoy most of them and was lucky not to meet anyone important, she still has a plan to follow. Rin still couldn't persuade her Kaa-san because that woman is unknowingly dead set on planning her daughter's death sentence.

Of course plan A wouldn't work. What was she thinking?

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid _motherf-_

"Umm.. Rin-chan? You broke your pencil."

Once again for the millionth time they've been together, Hiro snapped her back to reality. The poor pencil couldn't handle the almost four year old's silent fury.

"I'm sorry, Hiro-nii. Could I get another one?" Rin put down the broken halves of what used to be a pencil. She faced her older brother figure and brought out her hand.

Hiro acquiesced on handing her another one.

Then Rin zoned out again after that.

Bullshit. Utter bullshit.

Rin knew by heart that this was the best she could do. She also tried so hard not to meet any main characters besides in the hospital.

Drawing Hiro to an almost deserted market instead of the playground? Check.

Faking tired when her Kaa-san would drag her to other unfamiliar routes? Check.

Going home immediately after any contact with the outside world? Super check.

She wasn't only avoiding people. She's also avoiding subjects, topics, or anything she knew that is connected to the ninja world.

That means she either fake asleep, deny childishly, and just plainly (respectfully to the best that she can) tell her Kaa-san that she is not interested in chakras, techniques, or anything related to being a shinobi or medic.

Her Kaa-san, to Rin's upmost luck, actually complies and just leaves the topic.

But this avoiding can't go on forever. The longer she stays here in this village the higher the chances her fate will be reality.

Rin is almost four. In this other life, she is almost four. In the other deadly, shinobi life, Canon!Rin should be interacting with children her age (or just interacting with people _outside_ her family), getting interested with her Kaa-san's blabbering about the Will of Fire, and most importantly, she should be the kind, strong-willed, ball of sunshine Rin that made Obito fall in love because that Rin is just so perfect in her small sunshine ways.

But no. She's not like that. Rin is not that version of Rin. Rin will _never_ be like that.

Alright, let's put it in retrospect. What do self inserts do in their life in the Naruto worlds?

Oh, right!

Training. Training to prepare for their doom. Which brings us back to-

Bullshit. Utter bullshit.

In the fanfics she read in her life, why do SIs need to feel that they should be some kind of importance to the plot? Why do they have to be the weird kind of mary sue-ish person in their early age? Why do they zealously want to be in death's arms again?

Just freaking damn why?

That idea is bullshit. The main objective that SIs should have in this world is survival.

You know? To not die again at who-knows-what age?

Because it just doesn't make sense. They were already given knowledge on _what_ to avoid and with that, they should learn to survive.

And to survive this world, Rin mused, one needs to plant.

"植える"

Rin is done writing her characters for the day. Despite her frustrated mood, she gleefully handed it to Hiro.

Hiro examined her work for a minute then with realization, he gave a small chuckle. "You finally know how to write the word 'plant', Rin-chan."

The blue haired teen smiled at Rin fondly then his visible eye widened for a moment, like he had come to remember something he forgot. His mouth curved into a knowing grin, and something in Rin tells her that this is about to be good.

The teen gestured Rin to come close and the girl took it as a sign that there's _definitely_ a secret involved.

The little brunette leaned into him and Hiro whispered into her ear.

Rin's mouth dropped into an 'o'.

"Your Kaa-san actually loves gardening more than you think."

Holy shit.

* * *

Things were tense in the Nohara household, in Hiro's opinion. Given that the only members there are a single working mom, a turning-four-next-week year old girl, and occasionally, the teenager who would rather talk to plants than people.

It was partly his fault.

After getting the not-so-secret to be actually not a secret (Yuko scolded him later that day "What?! You told her!? I told you not to tell! To which Hiro stammered in fear "But I-I-I d-didn't know that it was a secret, Yuko-san."), Rin had been pestering her mother non-stop ("Ne Kaa-san, did you know that before, if we have many rice farms, we could be emperor? But you probably knew that already because you love gardening much as Hiro-nii.")

Rin bombarded her mother random facts about gardening, planting or farming then would say "You probably know that already since you loooooove planting. And I want to learn so much about it so please teach me?"

It made Hiro slightly guilty.

Slightly.

Because where would those veggie facts come from?

But Hiro's veggie facts are not the main reason why the Nohara household is so tense.

It was the silent competition going on between Rin and Yuko-san that made everything so uncomfortable. Hiro is aware that Yuko is preparing her daughter to the medic world, hence why Yuko is dragging Rin most of the time to the hospital. But Hiro knew by now that Rin is completely against with the whole idea.

It wasn't the pestering that made their environment heavy; it was the result of the pestering. Hiro knew by heart that Yuko-san loved her daughter more than ever. So he also understood that whenever Yuko-san would finally snap at Rin's antics, it would be completely unintentional. And Hiro knew that as much as they want to apologize, they can't because by that point only deafening silence follows.

Yuko would realize what she just did and would try to say sorry but Rin was always faster, she'd march off to her room before she could give her mother a chance to even open her mouth.

The teen witnessed this several times (it usually happens when Yuko-san just got home and the teen is still at the Nohara house). What comes next is that Hiro would coax her out of the room, repeating a million times to Rin that her Kaa-san loves her.

Yuko never had the chance to say sorry because Rin usually says it first. And Hiro would also be a bystander to their tearfully reunion.

Then repeat said events for the next day.

Sometimes, as Hiro was informed by Yuko-san, whenever the teen was absent from the scene, the mother would do the coaxing alone for Rin to come out her room. And once more, Yuko would miss to say "I'm sorry" to her daughter because as the mother computed, Rin would only stay in her room approximately 3 minutes before she would relent and beg forgiveness by hugging her Kaa-san.

With this, Hiro began to contemplate on the events. The teenager found himself confused by Rin's irrational aversion of being a medic.

Hiro was pondering just where that dislike came from.

Ever since Rin was a toddler, whenever Hiro would say "Plant, vegetable, tree", Rin would squeal in delight like saying more please but if Hiro would say "shinobi, Kaa-san's a medic, save people" Rin would pout and crinkle her nose in disgust then would turn her head the other way.

Hiro could never understand that part of Rin. After all, being a medic is much better than being a simple gardener. But he does understand her likes more than her dislikes, which is why he would help Rin achieve her dream to the best of his abilities (even if Yuko-san would get mad at him).

And today was another day to help Rin fulfill her dreams.

As usual, Hiro is was ready for the day and is now strolling along the middle of the street in the early morning of Konoha. The sun is still young and the air is cool. Few people are already bustling around the streets, doing their morning routines. In his neighborhood full of gardeners like him, their usual routine is to display their fresh harvests on their stands.

Hiro could spot several familiar faces either crouching down to their baskets, setting up their kiosks or laying their vegetables neatly. He wanted to greet all of them but he needs to go to the Nohara's as soon as possible (his only plus point is that he is never late).

"Ah, Hiro-kun! Wait up!"

A shout from behind made the said teen stop in his tracks and turn around. In front of him was an old man he knew that was a farmer before moving to the village.

"Aren't you in a rush early in the morning?" the old man Matsumoto, as Hiro recalled his name was, huffed in exasperation.

"I'm sorry, sir. Did you run far? I wasn't listening to my surroundings." Hiro placed his hand on the old man's back to give comfort.

Matsumoto-san waved dismissively. "Nevermind me, it's just the old age."

"What did you want to say, Matsumoto-san?" Hiro inquired after giving a moment for the old man to take a deep breath.

"Have you heard? They are recruiting in the small towns outside the village!" The old farmer exaggerated.

Hiro tilted his head in confusion. "What does it have to do with me, sir?"

The old man's arms flew wildly by his side, making wide gestures. "Oh, dear boy! Who do you think they are recruiting? And why do you think would I even tell you this if it doesn't concern you?"

Hiro, who was startled at the man's insistence, was not making the connections. It was after all, too early for him to think clearly.

Matsumoto glared at the boy annoyingly and gripped both of his shoulders. "They are recruiting crop farmers, Hiro!"

The teen who was still processing his words, didn't reply so the old man continued. "The fire country's resources are declining due to the war. Food is scarce outside the village. People are both starving and wounded."

Matsumoto released his hands from the boy's arms then thoroughly explained, "But it isn't enough that we give a man a fish", he shook his head, "oh, um… in our case, crops." Then continued, "The superiors said that we should teach the man to fish", he glanced away "…err, or plant in that matter, to make it last a lifetime."

The old man looked at Hiro determinedly. "The country needs people like us to survive."

After a second, his jaw dropped as it finally dawned on him the meaning of this news. His eyes are as wide as saucers in realization of the farmer's words. Hiro was simply too astounded to move.

Matsumoto eyed him worriedly. He thinks he broke the poor boy by overwhelming him with this good news. It was afterall, too early in the morning for surprises. He should have told him calmly instead of breaking it to him like a wife announcing to his husband her water broke.

Speaking of wives, he should go back home already. His wife told him to stay at home today.

The old man patted the teen's back. "I'll wait for your decision. Just talk to me this afternoon if you want to know more."

With that, Matsumoto left the boy to his thoughts.

The cogwheels in Hiro's brain were malfunctioning. Thousands of thoughts muddled inside his head were most likely about his shock and insecurity issues along the lines of; "Me, needed by the village?! _Me_?! _Meeeee_?! Plant?! Teach others?! _Mee_ eeee?!"

Different emotions also raged within him; joy for the chance given to him then fear for the sudden burden of responsibility, excitement for his own kind of adventure to happen then anxiety for the unknown future events.

Then suddenly like a flip of a switch, they all came to a halt.

The one thing that he could never forget surfaced in his mind.

Hiro asked out loud.

"What about Rin?"

* * *

As usual, Yuko is already up and ready for the day. Sunlight seeped into the windows and the house is awake as she. The only one still in slumber's arms is her little daughter who's still sleeping cozily in her bed.

She just finished her breakfast when a knock came from the door. She glanced at the clock and surmised that it must be Hiro who was early as ever. The knock continued.

"Coming!" Yuko announced as she walked down the hallway.

It wasn't Hiro-kun's face when she opened the door.

"M-Matsumoto-sensei!?" Yuko squeaked in surprise at the unexpected visitor.

The woman, Hiyori Matsumoto, is the retired head medic of the hospital. Yuko was under her liege for a long time and she could never make it her current position if it wasn't for her.

Hiyori gave her a soft smile. "Yuko, I think it is way past us for formalities." Then the visitor slightly tilted her head inside, "May I come in?"

Yuko, still baffled as her sensei (also idol) allowed her to use first names, stuttered, "Y-yes, come in. Matsu- ah, H-Hiyori-san."

They made their way to the living room in silence and Yuko requested her to wait there while she gets tea.

Once seated, Yuko finally asked, "Hiyori-san, what brings you here so early in the morning?"

"Is there need to have a reason to visit an old friend?" The old woman replied.

Ah, how could Yuko forget the teasing nature of this woman seated in front of her? The brunette shook her head, "Same as ever, Hiyori-san."

The said woman's lips quirked faintly. "I'm glad you know me so well, Yuko."

Her face then contorted to a serious expression. "But jokes aside, Yuko. I'm here to talk about an important matter."

The elder woman took Yuko's silence as a cue to continue. "News came to me that you were recently offered a proposition but you immediately declined. They asked me to change your mind."

Yuko, who realized the situation immediately, groaned in response, "Don't tell me. Sawada told you, didn't he?"

The brunette waited for sensei's reaction but Hiyori's reaction was passive. The woman merely cupped her tea in her hand.

"And the proposition? It's about the recruitment outside the village." Yuko continued, still aghast that his co-worker did this.

The ex-medic took a sip in her tea. "You're wrong about one thing, Yuko."

Yuko blinked. "..What?"

Hiyori met her gaze with a smile playing on her lips, "You're the one who told me," her eyes glimmered in amusement, "just now, actually."

Yuko was speechless as she knew so well that she walked right into that one.

"I.."

A sudden knock from the door interrupted their conversation. Both party turned toward the sound then back at each other.

Hiyori raised a brow and said, "A bit too early for two visitors, ne Yuko-chan?"

Yuko slowly stood up, the after effect of digging her own grave still lingered, "I…I should probably get that."

It was definitely Hiro-kun who was at the door this time.

Yuko didn't know whether she should sigh in relief or get irritated that he's finally here. He was after all, as early as ever. But the teen wasn't early enough to beat her cheeky sensei on arriving here first.

She chose to sigh in relief, "Hiro, you're finally here."

Hiro frowned, "Was I lat-"

"No, no…" Yuko cut him off, shaking her head then she tried to give him a smile, "you're… as early as ever."

"It's just that…" the mother snuck a glance sideways then looked back at Hiro, "we have a visitor present."

Both parties were still standing at the door by then so Hiro offered, "Oh…I'll just come back later, Yuko-san."

He hasn't even fully rotated when-

" _No_!" The adult shot her arm out and grabbed Hiro's sleeve. The teen was startled but complied. He slowly faced Yuko.

The woman signaled the teen to come inside and keep quiet. The teen obeyed without question and it wasn't a surprise to Yuko for she knew that the teen would do better than question her actions.

With the door shut and both of them standing in the hallway near the entrance, Yuko decided to lay out her plan here.

Yuko opened her mouth to speak. Then shut it.

She actually has no plan prepared.

Yuko still needed a moment to organize what's happening. Everything came out as a jumbled surprise; the old woman in her living room, the proposition that should never come up again (but did), and the moment she tricked herself.

She really had no time to think. It was after all, too early in the morning to do so.

And so she focused back to her reality. Yuko could see that Hiro was uncomfortable with the silence. He was looking down the floor, fidgeting his hands.

The mother assured the youth, "No, you're not in trouble."

"I just…" she paused then an idea shot up her head.

Two minds are better than one.

The brunette made no hesitation on telling Hiro the whole story within a minute, leaving out specific names and the full information about the recruitment. Yuko noticed snippets of various expressions of confusion, shock then fear that played on the teen's face.

She dismissed all of these. They could talk about it later. Right now she needs help not opinions.

"Um… Yuko-san?" Hiro asked once the mother was done.

"Yes, any questions?"

The babysitter took a deep breath. "Is this the recruitment for crop farmers also?"

Yuko answered, "Yes, the medics and farmers are going to travel together to the towns outside. Most probably next week."

"They made them partners really, since people needed food and medical help. Someone at work even called them the medic-veggie team. It wasn't really funny, I mean, I could be more creative than that." Yuko rambled, momentarily forgetting about her current situation.

That no one is present in the living room.

That there was a guest there.

And that the hostess is currently taking her time at the door.

"Yuko-san." Hiro's post puberty voice suddenly became deep.

The medic pursed her lips.

The teen took a deep breath again.

Yuko asked herself what is it with his deep breathing, does he have any respira-

"I was also offered that job."

Her train of thoughts suddenly crashed violently, "…Eh?"

"Yuko-san, you sure are taking your time here. Are there any problems?" a voice she knew so well suddenly spoke up behind them. The mother didn't even hear her footsteps coming.

She turned around to face her sensei. Then opened her mouth to speak.

An opening door creaked slowly at the far left of the hallway. A little brunette like her came out of it.

"Kaa-san, what's for breakfast? Is Hiro-nii here already?" the little girl asked, still groggy and rubbing her eyes out.

Now she knew why Hiro took deep breaths

* * *

Rin always perceived that her mother here is also an introvert. Not that she didn't like to be sociable; she'd just rather go home and be alone with her little girl. Then her mother would spend her time teaching her daughter basic knowledges, reading scrolls, and doing paperwork. Her Kaa-san was happy as that.

So it was a surprise that a visitor is in the house at frigging 6: _whoknowswhat_ am in the morning.

Rin saw her mother breathe deeply.

The girl then confirmed that her Kaa-san is truly an introvert (or it's just too early for _people_ ).

Things were a blur after that. Her mother ushered Hiro-nii and the pixie-cut visitor to the living room then she advised Rin to go eat at the breakfast table.

Rin did what she was told.

When she was done, Rin decided to find out what the loud murmurs she could hear in the sala actually mean. But she never had the chance because all three adults decided to come out while she was creepily walking down the hallway.

Rin yelped in surprise and made excuses that she wasn't sneaking or anything.

Her Kaa-san kneeled down at her eye-level with a blank expression on her face. Rin shut her little mouth up.

Her mother's next words rocked her.

* * *

 **~CARRIN'S ULTIMATE SURVIVAL PLAN~**

 **PLAN A** : BE A CIVILIAN AND GET OUT OF KONOHA

 _1\. Convince adults supervising that being a civilian is good.  
Status: Pending_

 _2\. Try not to interact with main characters.  
Status: Pending with high chance of positive results_

 _3\. Arrange whatever it needs to be arranged just to legally get out  
Status: ?_

* * *

 **A/N:** My updates are usually every 2 weeks or so.

Thank you for the reviews and follows. You have no idea how that made my _morning_ really bright~!

I decided to remove the mixed point of views in one setting and italics during internal dialogue because it seems a bit messy. What do you guys think of the Matsumoto couple?

I also loosely made a history of japan reference, if you guys noticed. But this hoj reference has _no_ relevance to the plot, meaning please don't connect this to when Carla died. It's purely coincidental (and also my love for the said video) that I decided to include it.


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